* check out the workout section for an awesome workout I did a few days ago... took me 45:13 to finish it :)
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Failure is my middle name.
Ever have those mornings where you wake up thinking “today is a new day.. a new start” just to end up messing up and then saying “tomorrow is a new day... a new start”. Ugh! I feel like I have been stuck in this cycle for weeks, who am I kidding- MONTHS, now. I keep trying to forgive myself but each and every day I am failing at the goals I am trying to accomplish. I am unsure of how to work my way around (through??) this life lesson. I can not figure out what it is yet.. but I want to learn the lesson and move on. I don't like not being in control of things when it comes to my eating/working out. I feel like I am losing control and can not get a handle on it. Some how, some way this has got to change. I do not have time to waste anymore on letting my ED run my life but I am not sure how to stop it. I try.. I swear I do. Those who do not have an ED will not understand- it is not about willpower. It is about an addiction. One that you can not escape.. no matter what you do. Well, I am done. I will figure out a way to beat this and when I do I am going to commit to help others beat this too.