Willpower where have you gone?

Ok confession. As you already know I suffer from emotional binge eating. Well.. it seems that it has been running my life lately. Feels good to get that off my chest! As of today, I am not letting it happen anymore. From Thanksgiving until about March has been a hard time for me for the last few years. My best friend passed away 5 years ago this month. I am wondering if this is why my binge eating increases like crazy during this time. This binge eating leads to weight gain which, for me, leads to depression. I pull back from the gym and do nothing because I feel awful about myself. I feel as if everyone looking at me just sees the weight I have put on. Which is crazy... just me and my good old mental issues!!

I remember the good old days where I had the willpower to stay away from any food which in my mind was “bad”. Wouldn't go near it. Now I feel as if everything I try to stay away from ends up consuming my thoughts and is what I binge on. Crazy!! I do not understand how there is not more research done on this disorder with ways to help those of us who suffer from it. I really think it is more common then not. I suffered from it when I was younger, I just had no idea what it was. Interestingly enough when I had that willpower the disorder went dormant. Or maybe, my thoughts are all wrong and the food restriction led to the binging again. However I honestly think I use it to fulfill an emotional need. People tell you to identify your triggers. Well everything in life must be mine- being sad, lonely, bored, tired, frustrated, anxious, feeling like a failure, etc. All of my emotions lead me straight to a binge.

I am promising myself I will get a handle on this. I will take my life back!!

I had a doctors appointment today to under go some testing for a possible gluten allergy/intolerance and lupus. I also had a whole metabolic profile completed. It will be interesting to see the results. After being tested I did some research and apparently there is a connection between gluten allergies and binge eating. I think I will continue research in this area and let you all know what I find out!

I hope everyone had a great week. Heres to an even better weekend!