Epic Fail and Moving on.

*If you are sensitive to binging/purging this post may be a trigger for you. You can read ahead or chose to skip this post. I do not want my feelings or things that happen in my day impact you in a negative way :)

I wasn’t going to say anything.. but I am using this blog as documentation of my journey.. both the positive and negative. Well today is a day I would label an “epic fail”. It ended up being a day where I reverted back to my old ways and let myself consume way too much food.. or better known as a binge. According to the “professionals” a person has “binge triggers” or things that may cause a binge to happen. This can be anything from a negative feeling, being bored, feeling lonely, someone saying something causing you to be upset, etc. I am honestly not 100% sure what mine are. I think a big one is “feeling fat”. I also have not been feeling well the last 2 days making my workouts non existant and I have felt guilty over it.. (another thing I have to work on). Another thing I have noticed for myself is if I eat something I do not want to allow into my nutrition plan it ends up leading to a binge. All 3 of those things happened to me today. My mother made banana bread recently and I had a piece at breakfast and some when I came home from work. Big no-no in my book. Especially since I have not worked out. I think this and my feeling of “being fat” lead to my binge today. I need to look at it as a “slip up”, stand up, dust myself off and get right back on the healthy train. I can not let these moments define me.. only help me learn and grow for the better. If these things ever happen to you do not dwell in them. Do not let yourself feel guilty. Healing takes a long time and the road is never an easy one.. but we are all strong enough to make it to the end!

Besides this my day was an OK one. I had some breaks in my day today and spent that time looking at HIIT workouts to do even though I know I still do not feel up to it. I found some new moves to incorporate into my workouts including: bridge push ups R and L and shoulder glides. So starting tomorrow when I work out again (regardless of how I feel) I will try out some of these new moves in my HIIT workouts and let you know what I think of them. The one I wrote out for today (when I was wishful thinking) was a tabata workout:

8 rounds: 20 seconds on, 10 seconds rest

·        Thrusters (with 25lb plate)

·        Burpees

·        One Leg- shoulder press

·        Jump squat + bicep curl (10lb db)

·        Tricep dips

·        Plank row

·        Lawn mower- right arm (15lb)

·        Lawn mower- left (15lb)

Didn’t happen but I will save it for another day and post my time when it happens. I think I need to invest in 12lb and 20lb dumbells. I have 2 20lb kbs but I am not a fan of using them yet. I do.. but I end up with some crazy bruises on my wrists. I need to perfect the "punch forward" movement with them to avoid the brusing.

Funny.. when leaving work today I heard a lot of “Is it Friday yet?” and “Is it June 21^st yet?”. Haha oh well! Tomorrow is a new day. Lets make it a good one!

“Self forgiveness is essential for self healing”